One time in school...

"Rainbow" (rainbeaux) 04/24/2018 at 08:19 • Filed to: None

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Like, second grade or so, a kid told me that his uncle had an “SUV Corvette.” I laughed and told him there’s no such thing. But to this day, I sometimes wonder if maybe his uncle had a GMC Typhoon. And then I feel bad for laughing at the kid.

Buuuut, he was probably full of it.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 08:30

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Around the same time, one of my favorite toy cars was a Wrangler with a horse head painted on the hood. I couldn’t bear the fact that it wasn’t a GM product, so I said it was a Chevy Mustang.

So yeah, it’s possible, but he was probably full of shit.

More likely scenario, if he wasn’t, was that his uncle had an Impala... and he was mixed up with “4-door Corvette”

facw > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 08:31

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Alternatively:

Or if that’s not enough of an SUV:

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 08:36

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I don’t know what year this was but I’m guessing Trailblazer SS.

McMike > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 08:37

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Aren’t kids just regurgitating information at that age? He didn’t come up with that on his own. Someone told him that, or he misunderstood it.

The neighborhood kids at my sister’s house asked me one day why I drive a “hippy van.” I doubt any of them have ever met a hippy. I’m curious which one of their parents have had that conversation about my Vanagon.

If I would have had time I would have investigated and asked if they thought all VW vans were hippy vans, or just old vans were hippy vans. I would have asked them to describe what a hippy looked like, and what they thought a hippy was. I would tell them that my van was a little too new to be a hippy van, and it’s really nothing but a lame soccer mom breeder van, just like the two Odysseys their parents own.

...and see how much of that makes it back home :)

Party-vi > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 08:43

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I sacrifice goats in my spare time , and leaving one of our meetings I saw a 2nd gen Infiniti QX80 in the parking lot and commented “man what an ugly car. It looks like a Beluga whale.” Welp, the owner was walking out with me and basically was like “yeah, I like it though” and I’ve felt like a human bag of shit ever since for busting his balls about a car he liked.

facw > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 04/24/2018 at 08:53

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Yeah right, Impala:

Ash78, voting early and often > Party-vi 04/24/2018 at 08:54

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I see those things at least 10x a day and I’m still shocked something so ugly, opulent, obnoxious and expensive has gotten so popular.

Worse than the H2 ever was — at least that thing was sort of comically designed and confined mostly to guys matching a stereotype.

facw > Party-vi 04/24/2018 at 08:55

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In fairness, the QX80 is objectively ugly (the new refresh helps a lot, it’s still not great, but probably is no longer the ugliest car in production). Still not ideal to make fun of someone’s ride to their face.

Montalvo > Party-vi 04/24/2018 at 08:55

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I described it the exact same way, except I said it to my friend on purpose. The interior wasn’t too bad but I am sorry that thing was beat to an inch of its life with the ugly stick.

McMike > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 04/24/2018 at 08:59

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All it takes is one person to tell the owner that the engine in his truck is “350ci - just like the Corvette!” and he’ll repeat it forever. Kids will just repeat what they hear.

A friend of a friend knows I have an Austin Mini, and just won’t shut the fuck up about the MINIs he leases every time I see him. He has totally bought into the “Let’s motor” and all the racing history that comes with the name. I actually avoid him whenever I can because he’s just talking about whatever he remembers from the sales brochure and what the salesman told him. Totally “Corvette SUV” type facts.

He bragged once that his latest leased Four-door Clubman is “The same thing as a BMW 2 Series,” and that’s when I wanted to kick his salesman in the teeth.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BMW_2_Series_Active_Tourer

DipodomysDeserti > McMike 04/24/2018 at 09:05

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Hippy van:

Not a hippy van:

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > facw 04/24/2018 at 09:05

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+ lift kit

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 09:06

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What if his uncle actually did have something like this?

Most likely not, but you scarred that kid for life you monster! :)

Future next gen S2000 owner > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 09:10

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I was once upon a time convinced the motor in the family boat was half of a Corvette engine. It was an old 3.0 liter I think. Kids misunderstand. But it was probably a Typhoon.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 09:20

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Today there are kids telling about their uncle’s Jeep Hellcat...

McMike > DipodomysDeserti 04/24/2018 at 09:27

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Actually, the bay window buses (67-79) were a little too new for the hippies of the late 60s-70s. They were new cars then, and hippies didn’t have any money.

The old split-window vans (50-67) were more common to find hippies using back then. However, so many years have passed, that those first two van generations are often interchangeable when discussing pop culture.

I also get “terrorist van” references with mine because of Back To The Future.   Even though it’s not the right model. It’s “close enough.”

jimz > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 09:31

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could have been as simple as overhearing something like “it’s like the Corvette of SUVs” and mis-remembering it. when I was about the same age (this was in the early ‘80s) a lot of commercials for cooking oils would mention they were low or no cholesterol (people still thought dietary cholesterol was Jack the Ripper.)

of course, not really knowing what any of that was, later on when I spent the night at my aunt’s house, she went to make popcorn and I asked if she was going to use “cholesterol oil.” ( screeching halt )

she looked at me and said in a bewildered manner “ Cholesterol oil?”

Ssfancyfresh > Party-vi 04/24/2018 at 09:43

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Goddamn. That opening line... with the link. Solid.

Well done.

DipodomysDeserti > McMike 04/24/2018 at 10:22

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When I think terrorist van I think of the Toyota “van”. I have no idea why.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Rainbow 04/24/2018 at 10:26

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lol in my high school days a “SUV Corvette” would have been a trailblazer SS

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > DipodomysDeserti 04/24/2018 at 10:28

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i usually think of rental vans....